How to win friends and influence people: Star Wars edition
My personal memories of Star Wars stem from a Minot party back in the day. At the party, Episode 6 was on, I watched it, and I was hooked. Since you were wondering, a Minot party is a gathering hosted and attended by Air Force folks who lived in Minot, North Dakota. Can’t say we’re not cool. Disclaimer: I am in no shape, form, or fashion a hardcore Star Wars fan. But I am married to a man who currently own THREE versions of Star Wars Monopoly. That has to count for something.
At the moment, my two best friends are both involved with men named Sean who have a penchant for Star Wars. Yes, their names are spelled the same. This might get very confusing. My gal pals confessed to me that they aren’t overly familiar with the Star Wars movies, as I’m cracking pathetically lame amazingly hilarious Star Wars jokes at the dinner table. So I’ve decided to educate them in the ways of the Star Wars.
1. Watch the movies in the correct order. The original, un-digitally remastered versions are preferred. This means start with Episode 4 (the first movie). You’ll want to watch Episodes 4, 5, and 6. Let them marinate, maybe watch them again. Then bravely go where Star Wars fans’ hopes go to die and screen Episodes 1, 2, and 3. Feel free to write hate mail to George Lucas.
2. Learn the major characters. If you’ve been alive in the past 30 odd years, chances are you know who Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia are and *spoilers* their connection. The other biggies include Yoda, Han Solo, R2D2, C3PO, and Jabba the Hut.
3. Understand who shot first. No, Lindsey, this doesn’t involve Stormtroopers. The now infamous (well, in Star Wars land) scene involves Han Solo and a character called Greedo meeting in a sketchy cantina (that Mac knows by name) in Episode 4. In the original un-digitally remastered version, Han whips out his gun and shoots Greedo, seemingly unprovoked. In the new version, Greedo shoots first. Real fans know that Han shot first.
4. Calling them by episode number is totally fine, but each episode has a real name:
Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (aka George Lucas has discovered advanced-for-the-time CG animation. See Jar Jar Binks and the whole pod racing sequence).
Episode 2: The Clone Wars (aka George Lucas has decided he loves advanced-for-the-time CG animation. See the Yoda / Count Dooku Chocula fight).
Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (aka this movie was so terrible I literally couldn’t think of the actual title. It took a search to verify my guess. See Hayden Christiansen’s whole career.)
Episode 4: Return of the Jedi (aka the first one).
Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back (aka Mac’s favorite. Probably because it’s the darkest and most depressing.).
Episode 6: A New Hope (aka my favorite. Because Ewoks.).
5. Watching and liking Star Wars doesn’t make you a super nerd. Having an argument over the number of fighters various troop carriers can hold does make you a nerd (for the record, this did not involve Mac, just two guy friends from high school. Books and graphics were used a evidence. This argument continued over several days, and they literally brought in Star Wars fan fiction to support their sides).
Have y’all seen Star Wars? Which movie is your favorite?
