On your medical school graduation

Dear 17 year old Lisa,

 It’s that time. Graduation season 2014. Right now, you’re probably envisioning us (you, me?) walking across the stage at Johns Hopkins or as part of Virginia Tech’s first allopathic graduating class getting a diploma and a hood on your way to becoming a pediatric pulmonologist. Well, sit down and buckle up for a surprise. You aren’t graduating from medical school. You aren’t even in medical school. Hell, you never applied or even took the MCATs. Just to completely shatter your dreams, you also never met Michael Phelps, starred in a London production of “The Phantom of the Opera,” or ran off with Gerard Butler. Deep breaths.

But don’t worry. Your life hasn’t turned out too badly. In fact, aside from a few minor details, you’re rather happy. You graduated from Virginia Tech, but not with a biology degree, and you’re married. That’s a shock to me some days, too. You’re getting ready to start college, and you’re nervous. You don’t know what to expect. Don’t worry, you’ll eventually patch up your relationship with your mom (but it will get worse before it gets better). I just want to tell you to appreciate your four years in college. They’ll go by way too quickly. You’ll pledge the most amazing sorority and make the most enduring friendships of your life. It will become your whole world, just go to class a few more times a week.

You’ll meet a guy. He’s older, has a car, and lives off campus in an apartment. Repeat after me: these are not criteria for a boyfriend. I realize when you’re 18, he seems like he’s hot shit. He isn’t too interested in you, and you spend too much time wondering why. Don’t. He ain’t it. You’ll meet another guy. He’s sweet, and fun, and wonderful. He ain’t it, either. You’ll figure this out the day he asks you if John Elway was actually an NFL quarterback because he does own a steakhouse in Denver. We could never marry a man who doesn’t respect the 7. All of your friends are in relationships, but you’re just fine on your own. Enjoy it.

Like I said, you don’t graduate with a biology degree. You’ll change majors twice, but you still finish on time. It’s all good. You love food science. Biology kind of sucked. Your department has some great people in it, and you’ll bond over ServSafe, food chemistry, and pregaming your department picnic.

Listen to your freshman advisor who asks you about your back-up plan. You’ll laugh at her when she asks what happens if you change your mind about medical school or if you meet a man. Laugh now, because that happens. Medical schools goes out the window that same year. Then you will meet a man. You will meet a man who makes every other guy you meet at Virginia Tech seem like the waste of time they were. He’ll tell you he loves you a week after you meet. You’ll tell him you love him, too. You don’t realize just how much you will love this man. You’ll drive across the country three different times with him in less than a year and spend most of the trips wondering how you got so lucky. You’ll move to North Carolina and work at a poultry processor just to be with him. You’ll deal with him deploying twice (yep, you managed to fall for an Army officer). And, here in 2014, you’re just getting started on this life journey.

So while your life didn’t turn out how you had planned for ten years, but you wouldn’t change it for a thing. Enjoy these next years. They’ll go by too quickly. And catch you on the flipside.