Halloween for wimps

Halloween is the scariest holiday of the year. People love scary costumes, scary movies, and paying money to get scared at haunted houses. So how do major scaredy-cats handle Halloween?

I have to admit that I am the biggest wuss alive. While I’m not scared of anything, I scare easily. Loud noises? I flinch. Opening a can of Pillsbury biscuit dough requires me to muster my inner strength. Random people or things popping up in the background? I jump. Ominous tones building up to a scary moment in a movie? I actually look away. And, more often than not, still get scared. I once had nightmares from seeing a preview for “Silence of the Lambs” when it debuted on TV. Not the movie, just the preview.

Back in college, the men of Sigma Chi lived next door to the Alpha Gams in our little Greek neighborhood, Oak Lane. Every year, Oak Lane sponsored a trick or treat for local kids. Each house had a theme (most of the sororities just handed out candy), but Sigma Chi turned their house into a haunted house for the kids. One year, I volunteered to take a group of kids around Oak Lane and through the Sigma Chi house. Bad choice. I was as freaked out as the elementary schoolers.

Enjoy your Nightmare on Elm Streets and your Stephen King made-for-TV specials. I’ll watch “Hocus Pocus”. You can have your haunted hayrides and corn mazes with people popping out of nowhere like daisies (name that movie!). I’ll stick to the pumpkin patch. The man who took us on our hayride this year told us that their haunted hayride made grown men cry. No, thanks. Keep your skeleton and ghost homey touches. I’ll decorate with squirrels and moonshine jugs.

Who else doesn’t like getting scared?